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Monday, January 30, 2006

Don't Wanna Grow Up

Lately, I've been working with my mentor on figuring out what I want to do "when I grow up." Part of this has been going through the exercises in What Color is Your Parachute?. I have to admit that it's strangely difficult for me to write about my life in a professional sense.

Maybe it's because I have created such a divide between work and home that I am almost two separate people depending on the setting. Friends wouldn't even begin to recognize me at work and co-workers look at me strangely when they run into me at the mall. Or maybe it's because I've always had a hard time when it comes to Goals.

I remember when I was in elementary school, I was in a Gifted and Talented program that sent me to another school one day a week (grades 4-6). They were pretty advanced considering they were teaching me, at age 10, to operate a video camera and edit video...and this was back in 1987, when that equipment was neither cheap nor easy.

Anywho, one day they sat down and taught us about long term and short term goals (I told you they were advanced). Now, I could do long division, algebra, program in basic, and tell you every part of the human body, but I could never figure out what I really wanted to do in the long term.

Something must be wrong with me. I can develop a working database out of a tangle of tables, flat files, and abstract thoughts...but I can't tell you what I'm going to be doing a year from now.

Maybe I was neither gifted nor talented? Maybe I was an "idiot savant"? Maybe I have no concept of future?

Sometimes I think that, when I was little, I spent so much time getting through the present as fast as I could that I lost sight of the long-term future and get tangled up in the past.

Just a thought.


At 1/30/2006 10:41 PM, Blogger Master of Disaster's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Interesting. I am very similar, and I was sent to a new school in third grade for a Gifted and Talented program.

At 2/02/2006 10:30 AM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Personal experience has repeatedly shown me that almost no one really knows what they want to do. And certainly the more intelligent people are the more tortured by this.

Anyway, you don't have to decide anything now. Life is long, honey, just live it ... you can do absolutely anything you want. You've got the brains, the support, and the drive.

My mom didn't find out what she really wanted to do until she was ...let's say over 50 (so she doesn't kill me). You've got time =)

At 2/02/2006 2:18 PM, Blogger La claridad que soñe's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

I can certainly agree with honeykbee. I am almost 23 graduating in may from college and i have no clue what i'm going to do in the future. Mabe I have a slight clue but I change my mind to much. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I would like to do so many things and it always seems like I don't have enough time.

I guess it's just easier to live one day at a time! At least that's what I plan to do, it keeps me at ease.


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