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Sunday, July 15, 2007


...or, Nothing to buy here. Move along.

My friends, you know that I am prone to bargain shop; it's more of a disease, really. Whenever I get near a store with signage hinting at 50-80% off deals, my pulse speeds up, my body hunches down, and my breathing becomes undetectable. I sneak in to that store with the grace of a snow leopard, close in on the deal and quickly and determine whether it is worth the effort of the hunt. If not, I retreat from the store and return to my usual clumsy self. If it is worth my effort, I shift my weight from side to side and then POUNCE.

Yesterday was definitely one of those days. I got lured into the hunt at Eddie Bauer, DSW, and Shoe Carnival. Eddie Bauer was fun, because all of the stuff that I love so much was around 40-50% off with an additional 30% off. I am so frugal, that my brain can calculate such a complicated sale structure down to an accuracy of about 50 cents in a matter of 10 seconds. So much so that when I took my kill to the register and she rang it up (accidentally leaving off the addition 30%, she gave me a total, I looked up and said "No..it should be around 67 dollars." She then voided the sale, and then reentered the 2 polos, henley, tshirt, and boxers with the puppies on them (ok.. so I'm a sucker for cute baby animals too) and then said "that will be 67.87" with a look of astonishment like i'd just previously said "3 minutes to Wapner."

I took my stuff and continued on my hunt. This time, I needed shoes. I started at DSW but was distracted by the fact that they had a pair of Steve Madden flip-flops marked down 40% with an additional 80%; 12 dollar Steve Maddens! I tried them on.. and in the meantime, the women behind me, a mother and a daughter, were arguing over the sale. Mother: "These can't possibly be another 40% off. Honey, go find someone to check." I turned around, looked at the color of the price tag, and said "yep! 40% off, that would make them around $20.50." She stared at me, shocked at both the sale and my quick math; "I get my boxer shorts at K-mart." I took my flip-flops and ran.

No dress shoes there, so I headed over the Shoe Carnival and zeroed in on a pair of brown leather Rockports surprisingly Marked down 50% to 49.99. I also needed black, but those could wait another day. Suddenly, over the loud speaker, "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the next 15 minutes, if you buy two pairs of shoes, the lesser of the two pairs will be half off." The hunt was back on! I turned around, paced the aisles a bit to make sure I'd not missed anything when I spotted a pair of black italian dress shoes with a square toe, those look hot on me. I tried them on, and sure enough, they fit.

I took my goodies to the counter, and as the associate was handing me my receipt, I could swear I squeaked out, "I'm an excellent driver."



At 7/15/2007 11:19 PM, Blogger Amanda's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Those were definitely awesome deals. Definitely, definitely awesome deals.


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