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Friday, March 25, 2005

Utero-Land

So this a.m., my sis and bro-in-law came down to go shoppin' for baby furniture. Such an interesting ritual.

It's amazing what happens the minute you walk into those stores. If you are a male, you are brought back to a world of toys, and shitting in diapers, and crawling around on the floor without a care (before you say it: Yes, I know guys that do that regardless of where they are...but in that case it's called kink). I was so wanting to have a kid just so that I could play with the toys -- Rubber Ducky, Pacifiers, Vibrating Cribs, and Swings. Come to think of it, it is kind of kinky. Yeah, it's a guy thing.

If you are a woman, however: your twat twitches; your uterus undulates; and your mammaries moisten. Before you jump down my throat, hear me out... I saw some 60 year-old grandma longingly holding on to some little baby jammies yelling for her 80 year-old mother to "Come look at this, ma!" At this point, the G.Grandma instantly clutches her chest (holding back the milk) and says "that is so precious." You could see it in her eyes. If her desolate womb could just get that long lost bout of rain, she would have hopped on the nearest passing stockboy and rode him like Annie Oakley.

I think I will leave you with that mental image. Gotta let that stew with you for a bit.

1 Comments:

At 3/27/2005 12:35 AM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

*stewing*


*ovaries undulating*

 

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