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Sunday, August 14, 2005

Thoughts Right Now

(Post conceived last night, but put into words a few hours later).

There are plenty of things that go through your head as you are stuck in traffic. That's aside from the obvious: "Why the hell is it taking me from 11:05pm to 12:04am to go exactly 5 miles?" and "Ooh hey, that guy over there is kinda cute, I wonder if I can keep along side..." Mostly though, it was a sense of nostalgia and longing.

Nostalgic as I remember the night, almost exactly 9 years ago, when I got a ticket on this same stretch of road as I made my way home from South Carolina in my long-dead Dodge Neon (Hi!).

The car was named Pedro, the same name that I'd thought of for the little puppy I'd fallen in love with less than a day and a half earlier. I really love having a dog around. They truly are Man's best friend. Don't get me wrong. Cats are great, and I love my Kira, but dogs are different. Dogs come running to greet you. They are dependents, like little 2 year olds that speak mostly gibberish (though you know exactly what they are saying). They need to be cared for almost constantly, but they give back a wealth of love. Love without question. ::sigh::

Then, there was the sad thoughts that I'd had most of the evening after staring at a printed picture of myself stuck to Mom's refrigerator. It was November of 1998. I was 21 and in a pretty sorry state, but at least I had my youth. The picture was taken by some unknown person's digital camera at a Thanksgiving Pot-Luck. I was on a "date" with a guy who continuously gave me mixed signals (and no, I wasn't imagining them, he was just that fucked up). I thought: "Wow, I wish I could go back to that day and start over. The things that I could do again or do differently. The realities that I had back then only to become nightmares months later." Yes, that was a royal pain of a transition time for me.

So yeah, traffic in the middle of the night brings out the worst in me, and I pretty much had to sit there and deal with it. J isn't usually much for travel conversation, so I felt pretty much free to stew in my thoughts.


At 8/15/2005 11:21 PM, Blogger Dulcinea's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...



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