Garage Sale Etiquette

For the second week, J has decided to try to sell off our unwanted crap in a format called a "Garage Sale." We didn't do too well last week ($15) but we have learned some things.

Apparently there are some unwritten rules or norms about garage sales that we didn't know about.

Thou shalt show up 40 minutes before advertised start time...

Believe it or not, some bitch in a velour walking-suit showed up at 8:20 a.m. (despite a 9 a.m. advertised start time), pounding on the door. She said, "are you having a yardsale?"
Me, trying not to sound perturbed, "Yes, it starts at 9."
Accusingly, "You're not starting early???"
"No Ma'am."::slamming door shut::

Yeah, We're going to lie about the the start time

Thou shalt "jew" the buyer down to 25-cents on a 50-cent coffee mug...

This speaks for itself

Thou shalt offer to buy laptop that buyer is currently using...

Yeah, like i'm going to sell you the brand-new iBook at half price. What are you, fucking nuts? (or, in the words of Margaret Cho's Mom: "Do you think I was born tomorrow???")

Finally, Thou shalt bitch about a scratch on a 25 year-old Christmas decoration on sale for $2...

It's a Garage Sale, not fuckin' discount-days at Macy's

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