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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Idol-tery

I figure that everyone has their take on tonight's Idol performances, so why not me? Here is what I would say if I were at the judge's desk:
Ace
"Ass" is more like it. This was a poor immitation of Stevie. Someone send that annoying little Constantine wannabe home.
Kelly
Honey, I think the pigs need to be fed. If they ever did a Lifetime Television movie about the Mandrell sisters, she'd be Earline. Though, what queen let her wear shiny red shoes with a slinky black dress?
Elliot
Great voice. Great RADIO voice. Call Extreme Idol Makeover -- Where are his DaVinci veneers?
Mandisa
Stunning. Girlfriend could be the next Jennifer Holiday. I really hope she makes it to the final four, at the very least. I'm so proud!
Bucky
Tomorrow morning, women all over the country will be pouring into their salon yelling "give me the Bucky!"
Melissa
I love her. Her voice is so raw and real. She really screwed up the song tonight, but I want to see her come back next week to hear what she will do.
Lisa
Look! It's the lost Cosby Kid! Seriously, something about her seems almost robotic. She's been groomed to do this and THAT is a big turn-off for me.
Kevin
Chicken Little...I feel like I just walked in on my pre-teen cousin singing and dancing around the bedroom in his underroos.
Katherine
Angelic voice... Stunning makeup... Fantastic performance... But what's with that f'ing dress? Ugly frock aside, I would DEFINITELY buy her album.
Taylor
Good performance. The boy might just be able make a living off of his Tourette's.
Paris
Where's Tinkerbell? Oh wait, not THAT Paris. Somehow, I feel like I'm watching a remake of the final performance from Sister Act II when Lauryn Hill busts out in song and wows the audience. However, she's not in Ms. Hill's caliber yet. She is but a girl in a dress. Ok girl, your song is done...now shut up and go read your bible or something
Chris
He's cuter with hair, though I bet he's hairy everywhere else. Oh, wait, his singing. Yah, he did a good job "Higher Ground" tonight. A bit screechy in the chorus, but he went out on a limb with this.


Who would I like to see gone? Well, Ace annoys me and Kevin is way out his league, but I doubt they will get the boot. Maybe Lisa?

My favorites: Katherine, Mandisa, and Chris

3 Comments:

At 3/14/2006 10:09 PM, Blogger wowedout's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

OMG, I am oh so glad I stumbled upon this blog & your idol post here. I don't agree on every critique of your performance. But for the most part I am w/you. To be honest I haven't paid that much attention to the girls I don't think they can compete to some of the boys. I look at them but I don't really listed to their voices. I pray Bucky is going home tommorow & it's so funny I already called my hair lady & was like turn on the TV I want my hair to look like Bucky's. They cut it, highlighted,curled it & glossed it his hair was prettier then mine on anyday. HOW GAY !!! And I have no problems w/Gay people just that most certainly a gay man would not be attracted to that hillbilly trash.

Your post made my day.

 
At 3/14/2006 10:26 PM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Glad to make your day, but I do have to further state that that hair was not gay. I know gay, I AM gay. A gay man would not have done that to his hair...that's the work of a woman. That hair was just down right purty and girlie.

 
At 3/15/2006 10:12 PM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

lol @ HOW GAY

 

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