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Sunday, August 26, 2007

Bedroom Antics

...Or, My Affair with Bed and Beyond

So, I have been looking for a new bedroom set for my room, aka "the guest room," with little luck. You see, I have this fantastic matress set in there that I love, but it's a Full. No one these days likes to make a full-sized bed. Granted, even I don't really fit on the bed (my feet hang off the end), but it is the most comfortable mattress I've ever slept on.

I remember back to days of sleeping on uncomfortable beds -- as in college -- so I can really appreciate a good bed.

The first really uncomfortable bed I slept on was that of my first bf (let's call him Dumbass). It was a rickety twin-sized bunk bed in his dorm. Two six-foot-something guys should not ever attempt it, though I was about 45 lbs lighter and built like Paris Hilton (except maybe still with bigger tits ;-)). The bed was springy in all the wrong places and I just couldn't sleep on it under normal conditions. So Dumbass and I just screwed until we were exhausted and would pass out; usually with me laying on top of him, sometimes in mid-screw (how's that for entertainment). It wasn't comfortable, but at that state of exhaustion, who cared?

Flash forward 3 years and Dumbass was in town visiting. He had planned to stay for a couple of days and I had to hide him from my parents (Mom and Dad didn't much care for Dumbass). The first night we stayed at the house of my most recent ex, Sweetheart, but in order to be sensitive to him, Dumbass slept in bed, Sweetheart on the couch, and me on the love-seat (yeah, I was being an asshole at this time...who else would bring The Ex, over to the recent ex's house? But in my defense, Sweetheart was the one who suggested it).

The next day, we got up and drove to my friend Lizzie's house. Lizzie's mom, I called Mama Bell, was the coolest mom around (as long as you weren't her own kid). She was a blonde Debbie (from QAF). The house was this very old victorian with a creaky floorboards and a lot of character. In the front was a bedroom with it's own bathroom and 2 twin beds with tall posts. Mama Bell said we could stay there for the evening, but to go off an play in town for the evening.

I took Dumbass and Lizzie on a tour of the 'burgh and just had a pleasant evening. When we finally made it home, the house was dark and quiet, so we sneaked in trying to avoid making the floor squeak. I kissed Lizzie goodnight and went into the guest room. Imagine my surprise when I saw that Mama Bell had managed to push the twin beds together and tied them with rope so that they wouldn't part. That was the first time in a while that I cried. Not necessarily because of her generosity and acceptance, but because of my family's lack of. This never would have happened at home.

Not to wear our our welcome, I took us back up towards my parents' to spend the last night with Dumbass in a no-tell motel outside of town. This is the kind of place that you could get crabs just from driving by with the windows down. The beds were all hooked up to little coin-operated doo-hickeys that made the bed shake like an earthquake was hitting.

When I returned home the next day after dropping Dumbass off at his car, my mom confronted me. She had figured out that he was in town, and she was livid. This is around when she told me it was time to move out again and live on my own.

Flash forward another 7 years, I took J home with me for my pre-Christmas ritual baking-marathon with Mom. Mom and I usually spend the 2 days prior to Christmas holed up in the kitchen baking countless dozens of cookies for the family to consume until they pop. Mom and Dad had met J several times, but didn't really KNOW him very well, so this was the first time he was going to be spending a full day with them. We spent our day baking filled, chocolate drop, ginger, and pinwheel cookies while dad kept a steady supply of Manhattans for Mom and I, and beer for J.

At the end of the evening mom said to J, "you are staying, right?" He was a bit surprised, but said "I can...sure." To which mom responded, "well, Scott's old bed is covered with presents, so you're going to have to share the guest bed with him. I hope you don't mind." Thankfully I was a bit buzzed, so I didn't react too much at the time. When I think back now to Mom's first real display of her acceptance, it makes me a little weepy inside. Yeah, I know, I'm such a girl.



At 8/26/2007 1:34 PM, Blogger ayem8y's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Aww that's sweet, I love the things that parent's do, as good hosts, to make their guests more comfortable. Your Mom is clever suggesting, J. would just have to make-do shacking it up in the guest bed with you.

At 8/27/2007 6:25 AM, Blogger naechstehaltestelle's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

It takes a while, but it's always nice to see parents getting over their qualms and learning to accept. I used to have this gay roommate and my mom was always acting like an ignorant idiot about it. After spending time with him, I think she loves him more than she loves me. It's always funny when she asks in her broken English who his new boyfriend is.

At 8/27/2007 11:50 AM, Anonymous Nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

I wish I had a mom like that

How's life treating you?

At 8/27/2007 11:56 AM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Goin' well here. I actually was hoping you'd read that to see that Moms do finally come around. :) Sometimes it takes 10 years...but hopefully not.

At 8/27/2007 12:18 PM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

"So Dumbass and I just screwed until we were exhausted and would pass out; usually with me laying on top of him, sometimes in mid-screw (how's that for entertainment)"

Now THAT'S the kind of entertainment I come here for! Hooray!!

Oh and a very sweet and tender tale, as well. Yadda yadda more about the manlove.

At 8/28/2007 5:55 PM, Anonymous nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

I agree with honeykbee :-P

At 8/28/2007 7:03 PM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

ok you two... i'm cutting you off! :-)

At 8/29/2007 1:26 AM, Blogger Nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...


I promise that I'll only ask for more details every other week, ok? :D

At 8/29/2007 2:44 AM, Blogger Amanda's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

I demand more manlove.


Also, word verification is "hrgdgy," which sounds like an some experimental and possibly illegal-in-38-states type of manlove.


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