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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Do Not Call

...or Why I Hate Alexander Graham Bell

So we decided a few weeks ago that we were tired of giving Comcast all of our money and switched to DSL. Of course this meant that it was actually the same price to outfit the house with a phone at the same time, though now I'm beginning to question the benefit. Keep in mind, I've not really had a home phone since 2003 and have pretty much relied on my cell phone for all communication; Why pay for two phones when I have one that I carry w/ me 24-7?

Wouldn't you know it that our first call came from the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review welcoming us to our new home and wondering if we would want them to dump their right-wing republican crap on our property every morning. To which I promptly screamed , "We've only had the phone for 3 days!!! Take us off of your list you blood-sucking freak!" Or something to that effect.

Tonight's phone call started with that Tell-tale sound of a Telemarketer's Heart: the Call-Center Background noise. Then there was the, "Is the Mister or the Missus of the house available?" Which prompted me to:
  • Hang up in disgust
  • Throw the handset into the toilet and proceed to flush while screaming, "There be WHALES here!"
  • Tell the person they've ruined my chance at getting lucky tonight as my date is frightened by shrill noises and is now cowering in the corner mumbling "loo loo loo..."
  • Politely explain that the caller needs to remove me from their calling list and then go to hell
If you answered "none of the above" you are correct. They didn't get me on TOO bad of an evening, but I did ask that we be placed on their "do not call" list and then promptly registered the number on the National Do Not Call Registery.

The good news is that we don't have an answering machine and have no clue how many times it rings during the day. The bad news is that I'm afraid poor Kira is going to develop a complex. She already runs at me, tail twiching, when I walk in the door.

Ugh...it just rang again. Damn it. Damn it to hell!



At 3/03/2007 10:30 AM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Whales?! LOLOLOL

This is why I keep one of those sonic boom horns by the phone.

At 3/14/2007 10:12 AM, Blogger old man neill's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

i'm gonna use the whales line. my favorite is:
tm: is _____ there?
me: sure, let me get him.
-i set the phone down on the table, but do not hang up...


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