Monday Night Fun

...or Harsh Realizations

1) Never trust the furniture tastes of a 50-something woman about to lose her job - Tonight, in search of a new coffee table / cocktail ottoman (as I've discovered they're called if they are padded and covered in leather), we drove past the La-Z Boy furniture gallery. This place has been going out of business for the past 20 years, so I figured they'd be picked clean, but thought "what the hell."

We stopped in and "Ethel" told us that they sold a BEAUTIFUL one this past weekend which was a shame, because it was a STEAL at $199 down from $1195. Then she said, "Wait! you should try the Robinson store...I'll give them a call." "I talked to Elmo there and he said they have one left and he is holding it for you! It is so beautiful!"

So we drove 15 miles to the Robinson store only to find the most heinous looking thing ever made. It was about 4'x4', burgundy tufted leather with pineapple carved legs. I'm sorry, but nothing with wooden pineapples for legs should be called "beautiful." Seriously...FUGLY.

2) When the waitress forgets who she is...just leave then - After the disappointment of #1, we walked next door to Buffalo Wild Wings. I should have known something was up when Dipshit, the waitress, looked like she dropped out of her mom's womb and landed face-first onto marble floor. Then, she was equally "blessed" with a Cindy Brady lisp.

So about 20 minutes after we placed our order, I asked Dipshit where my Long Island Iced Tea was. "Who did you order it from? She must not have put it in?"

"Um, I ordered it from you!"

"Oh! Sorry!!!"

Then, about 25 minutes later (and halfway through my Long Island) I notice Dipshit delivering food to the albino (bless his heart) who showed up 15 minutes prior the next table over. So I grab the waitress and she says, "oh, yours is coming right out!" To which I nastily replied, "Did you put THAT order in?" Did I mention that I get nasty when I drink Long Islands?

Dipshit then runs to the kitchen, back to her station, then to the manager, and then comes out..."OH I am so sorry, The kitchen didn't get the order." So I got up and left.

Oh well! At least I got a buzz out of that debacle.

*Names have been changed to protect the retarded

Labels: daily life, observations

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