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Friday, February 15, 2008

Monkey Love

Happy Belated Valentines.

On that note, here's a story that had me laughing much of the morning of my day off.

Apparently gorillas prefer the doggy-style method of coitus, much like the way George Dubya Bush was conceived. But no, this sister said "woah, hold up. I am a liberated Monkey (i know..gorillas aren't monkeys...just play along)! I am a Grrrr-ella(ella ella ella, ay ay ayyy)! I'm gonna take and claim my man! And when I know I've got him, I'm going to kick up my heels and have him f**k my brains out! Who needs opposable thumbs when I'm double-jointed, yo?"

So this grrlla then proceeds to throw her legs around the silverback and go to town...whooping and hollerin' like, well, anyone who's not gotten any in a while. When she's done, silverback smokes a joint, and she then proceeds to bitch about the dishes not being done, the toilet seat being up, and his laziness and general.

And thus started the Gorilla Liberation Movement.

Unrelated, I was in the state store yesterday picking up somethin' to have with dinner , when the woman working the counter was singing along to some whiny R&B song where this guy kept begging "please don't go."

Customer at counter: "Brother musta done some'in seriously messed-up right there!"
Worker: "ya know i'm sayin?"
Customer: "Mmm-hmm, She musta found some woman's number in his car"
Worker: "or on his cell phone"
Customer: "And it was one of his baby-mommas"
Worker: "Holla!"

(I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. God I love Pittsbugh!)

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