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Friday, June 13, 2008

Wiiiiii

...Or, I thought video games made you fat?

My bestest buddy and his boy bought Wii Fit today for their Nintendo Wii.

For those of you who aren't familiar, the Wii is a video game that actually requires physical exertion and tracks your body movements (particularly your hands). It can be quite a work out if you manage to avoid throwing the controller through the TV. It also has these little "Wii Mii's" which are built to look like you while playing games.

Anywho, the Wii Fit incorporates this gizmo that looks like a scale (yes, the devil's invention). So you have to pick your Wii Mii from the system and bring it into the game...then it does the unthinkable. It weighs you and checks your balance. Now mind you, I was 3 pieces of pizza and 3 margaritas into the night before I tried this, so I was bloated from the salt and a bit tipsy. Well, I got on the torture device and it surprisingly said that my Body Mass Index (BMI) was in the normal range. Woo hoo! It also said my weight was fine. Good, right?

However, the thing then, based on my balance, said that I had a physical age 8 years older than the actual. Now, let me just say, I wish I could program into the damn thing that I have horrible knees and therefore don't put much weight on the really bad one (left) causing my body to be out of balance. Oh well, what harm can this thing do, right? Right Guys? Guys?

Oh well. Well, this thing then decided to send me some interesting classes for balance such as Yoga, Skiing, and Walking a tight rope between two buildings while pigeons *shudder* and a giant clamping trap come at you. Who thought this fucking thing up as fitness? Remo Williams? Fuckers! The game actually makes you walk the tight rope and then jump over the clamp thing. What happens if you miss? You fall screaming and flailing down between the buildings and out of sight. Bit gruesome perhaps? It even has an option where you can just jump off the building.

What is this? The Wii-emo? Anywho, I'm just happy that it didn't change the shape fo my Wii Mii based upon my weight. B. was bitching about it giving him hips now. I was like "the Wii didn't give you hips, it just shows what you already have."

No hiding behind the wee.

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