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Friday, August 1, 2008


So I went to Tessaro's tonight for "One of the Best Burgers in Pittsburgh." Color me un-impressed. The thing was clammy, greasy, flavorless, and the consistency of slightly decayed grey matter.

Seriously...Worst F'ing thing I've ever tasted that was made with ground meat...and I've had some nasty shit.

I asked the waitress about it...and she was all "Oh, that's weird..we don't use any oil or grease, it just goes straight on the grill. We don't put anything on it, not even salt." Well No F'ing Wonder! I'm sorry, but when you make a burger it better be more than a handful of sub-prime ground meat on the grill. There's got to be something in it to hold it together, and Salt and Pepper the damn thing. I'm not a big s'n'p kinda guy...I actually refuse to add seasoning to food at restaurants, because it should be seasoned properly to begin with.

Now, if it's a steak or some better cut of meat, then fine, it might be able to hold it's own. Actually, I get cranky when a waitress asks after I order a steak, "do you need steak sauce." My usual response is, "I should hope not!"

This shit was NASTEEEE. Nope, not eating there again.

Oh, and if you want claims for best burger in Pittsburgh I'd recommend maybe Bob's Garage in Blawnox, Lot 17 in Bloomfield (few doors down from Tessaro's), William Penn Tavern in Shadyside (I love it on the hoagie roll), or Cappy's in Shadyside.

So what do the 'Burghers out there think of the burgers out there? I'd like your opinions.

**UPDATE** Yes, Five Guys Burgers and Fries rocks! Thanks for reminding me buddy. :)

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At 8/02/2008 2:12 AM, Blogger naechstehaltestelle's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

I still hope to have a bite of that $200 burger one day...

At 8/02/2008 6:10 PM, Anonymous neill's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

i know it's a chain, and chains are the devil, but "5 guys" burgers kick some ass. be sure to split fries with someone else, because you'll get sick eating that many fries.

At 8/02/2008 9:21 PM, Blogger ayem8y's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Well down here it would have to be the burger at Jerry’s Drive-In, where they have never changed the grease in over fifty years. MMM…grease!


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