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Monday, September 10, 2007

Dear Scottie, Pt I

... Or, What Have I gotten Myself into??

Dear Scottie,

There's this guy that I like. Named *****. He's my height ('bout 5'8"), blonde, plays varsity soccer, and has an amazing smile. He's part of the "popular" crowd, and I always manage to catch his eye when he passes me in the halls at school. There's just 1 problem...I have no idea if he's straight or not! He's never had a girlfriend, so that's a good sign I guess. I mean, I could always pay him?

Any advice?


Dear oyhjkpaf

Well, I can tell you that I had similar crushes in school, but never acted on them. Thankfully, in most cases, I didn't. If I'd even flirted with the one guy who used to smile at me all the time (also a soccer player), I'd probably have been pummeled.

I think the best thing you can do is try to be his friend. If he shies away from that, then either he's straight, or not comfortable in his sexuality (or both). Then again, according the emails I get, everyone becomes a little bit gay at sleepovers. Besides, you'll need friends to watch your back if you ever get a little too frisky with the wrong dude!

Now, I was friends with the neighbor boy, who was kinda quiet and geeky (like me). I had a huge crush on him, but he was 2 years older and never seemed to make any indication of wanting anything more. If only I HAD known then what I known now. I'd have had a much bigger smile on my face in high school. He turned out to be gay, but we never were really anything more than friends (and not so much anymore). Then there was the track star 2 years my junior, who, after we were both out of high school, I banged in the front seat of his car... but that's another story. ;-)

So basically, take it easy sparky, patience will pay off.



P.S. I've never paid for companionship and don't condone it either.

Official-looking Disclaimer: I am not a shrink, doctor, teacher, clergy, bartender, or anyone with any specific professional advice-giving training. I'm just a dude with a blog who has fun.



At 9/10/2007 10:22 AM, Anonymous Beakerz's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

You're the new Savage Love. Woo hoo!!! I knew you from the ground floor! wait, maybe that's not what I meant ;)

Meanwhile, to the dude who wrote: Just for it. Here's the worst scene in the script for ya:
You get him some place comfortable...to him, as you don't want to put him on the defensive, yada yada yada...I'm gay and I think you are too, let's hook up. (or however people get together any more, as I've never had game...ask K)

The worst? He punches you. If he's doing that, then he won't announce to the world that he got hit on by another guy. He'll be way to insecure, so you won't have to worry about feeling embarrassed by him or around him.

Sadly, it would end in another broken hearted crush.

but hey....that's all the Worst that could happen, no?

The best is, he likes you too and boom, all is well in the world =)

Take a chance!

At 9/10/2007 10:44 AM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Ignore beakerz, the poet laureat of cyber-space. He's a perfect example of what not to do (in most situations). :)

B: Love ya!

At 9/10/2007 7:54 PM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Look out, McLovin' is on the scene!

I didn't know you were accepting advice seeking emails! Now I know what I'm going to be doing at work all week. Woohoo!

...though, I guess you've answered the majority of my questions already with your last statement. lol

At 9/11/2007 1:38 AM, Blogger Nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Baaaahahaha Scott as a clergy!@

At 9/11/2007 3:42 AM, Blogger Amanda's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Dear Scottie:

Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?

Also, and I swear I'm not making this up, WV is "ppwixa," which sounds like some kind of hipster alternative cooter wipe one might use to cure the not-so-freshies.

At 9/11/2007 8:29 AM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Manda: 3 words -- I-Vo-Ree :)

I keep myself as fresh as a daisy. So fresh one(or more) could eat off of me. Why, you ask? Because my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard ;-).


At 9/11/2007 9:25 AM, Blogger naechstehaltestelle's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Everyone goes a little gay at sleepovers? Damn, i went to the wrong sleepovers...


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