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Thursday, May 17, 2007

A Day In The West

..or If you want to know how to REALLY get drunk, ask a Native American

Tuesday we made a quick trip up to Phoenix.As you can see above, I don't have a lot of pictures. Why, might you ask? Well, I was too busy shopping and getting hit by a car. Well, our rental car got hit by another car...

So there we were, sitting at a red light for at least 30 seconds, J was driving and I was reading the map. Suddenly, BAM, we get rear-ended by some bitch in a LeBaron. I get out of the car to inspect the damages, thankfully there were none, and then walked over to the woman, who DIDN'T bother to get out...

"You Hit US!"
"I didn't MEAAAAAN to!"
"Pay attention you idiot"

"I didn't MEAAAAAN to," is going to stay in my head as the LAMEST fucking excuse I've ever heard for an accident. Like that was supposed to make it all better. What makes it more hysterical was the fact that, this week, Phoenix was listed as the city with the 6th rudist drivers in the country. Which I witnessed first-hand.

Ok, so in the morning, we headed north through the Tonto National Forest. I have to laugh when I see the name "forest" referring to anything in this state. Apparently, if you have a handful of bushes and a million cacti, mainly Saguaros, then you have a forest.

We stopped at Montezuma's Castle (neither a castle, nor Montezuma's) nestled in one of the cliffs in the Campe Verde area. It was amazing to see that that the natives, much like my friend K, enjoyed delux apartments in the sky.

After another hour or so on the road, we finally made it to Sedona; Probably the most beautiful place in the country. We decided to take a 2 hour jeep tour high up into the mountains (starting at around 4000 feet and making our way up to over 7000 feet). That ride, with Jimmy, the Sioux tour guide was probably better than any roller coaster. We rode along a tiny little dirt road used by the area's first settlers, John Wayne, the Judds, and the models for Chico's. Yep, that's them above doing a fashion shoot on Carousel Rock. Fun huh?

Here's a view down into the valley from wenst we came.

And some of the beautiful rocks made of rust (iron oxide). We saw lots of fun things on that trip. A million Cacti, Century Plants, Juniper Trees (where gin comes from), Collared Lizard (who doesn't like his picture taken), and some other fun sites.

After two hours of bouncing up and down the moutains, we decided to teach the Prickly Pear Cactus a lesson. So we ate it. Not bad, kind of taste like beans. The best, though, was the margarita made with juice from the Prickly Pear. MMMMM.

After our snack, we left the Cowboy Club and discovered it to be raining...and hailing in town. This is kind of odd, because it's not the rainy season. But, after a Margarita, I didn't really care what it was doing outside and so I decided to do some shopping.

We found some fun souvenirs, and *ahem* interesting sculptures. Note: B, this is not what I meant when I said there is a Dry Beaver in Arizona.

Sedona is a very interesting place. Because of the colors, light, and various unique flows of energy, and the iron oxide, the area has created this giant magnet, sucking in hippies and homos from the 4 corners of the United States. There are psychics, artists, and weirdos peddling everything from crystals to palm readings. It's quite amusing!

We also discovered that Snoopy abandoned his house and started sleeping on the rocks in Sedona. That's woodstock sitting on his nose.

Of course, Lucy is a bit miffed, but is sitting patiently on the center of the mountain above Snoopy...

And then, we headed back down the mountain to Phoenix. Overall it was a nice trip. I wish I could have spent more time in Sedona. There is such a strange and relaxing energy there that makes you want to plop your ass down on a rock and have a drink or ten.

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At 5/17/2007 3:18 PM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Thanks for the shout out, poopoo! Yeah, me and old Monty really know how to live. Great googly boogly, it looks hot out there. Wait--

A hippy and homo megacetner? Well git along little dogies!! Guess where we're all retiring together!?


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