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Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Dear Scottie Pt II

This might become a regular thing (weekly/monthly).

Dear Scottie,

I'm a young, attractive, well endowed man but every guy I go on a date with falls in love with me and wants to move in and pick out curtains, when I'm just lookin' for a little strange, know what I mean? Don't get me wrong it's great being sexy, virile and completely irresistible but I guess my mesmerizing charms are just to powerful. Oh sure I could be a hooker and get paid to have empty casual encounters but I'm looking for a little bit more, not much more, just kinky sex. How can I have dinner, a date and meaningless sex without any strings attached or gnawing my arm off the next morning?

Always the bride
Never the bridesmaid...

Dear Bride,

Boo-Fuckin-Hoo! There are lots of sites to hook up through, just make sure you tell everyone exactly what you are interested in. But, in order to truly comment on your endowment, sexiness, and virility, I'm going to needs pictures and possibly video.


Dear Scottie,

Why are all my gay friends obsessed with my boobs?

Confused

Dear Confused,

Let us clear this up right now. Gay men love boobs because their gayness is caused by a lack of exposure to milk wagons in infancy. Seriously though, Gay men love tits. They aren't called fun-bags for nothing.

I used to use my friend Mandy's EE's as pillows (Everybody needs a Bosom for a Pillow) whilst drunk. My friend Carol has pierced jugs that were fun to play with while drunk. My friend Angie used to let me hold myself up on her hooters whilst drunk. Wait..I'm sensing a pattern here...Maybe I don't need knockers; just rehab.

If you love your gay friends, do not deny them the breastices. Instead, hand them another drink and grab them by the testicles or buttocks. Come to think of it, most of my women friends love grabbing my butt. Related? Mayhaps.

In other words: Celebrate your boobies. Share your ta-tas with those that worship them. Do not deny your mo's the bazongas.

Labels:

8 Comments:

At 9/12/2007 5:33 PM, Blogger honeykbee's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

WAhhhhh I have too much sex, too many men want me, and my boobs are too big, wahhhhhhhh

What's next weeks installment? My ass is too small!?

 
At 9/12/2007 9:13 PM, Blogger ayem8y's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

"This might become a regular thing (weekly/monthly)."

How about daily?

 
At 9/12/2007 9:15 PM, Blogger Scott's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Don't press you luck! :) It will have to depend on what piques my curiousity

 
At 9/13/2007 2:05 AM, Blogger naechstehaltestelle's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Hooray, I now have colloquialisms for boobs to last the whole day!

 
At 9/13/2007 9:08 AM, Blogger mineIsay's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Dear Scottie,

I don't know what to do. I have huge ninnies and my ass is too sm..

oh, wait. sorry.

 
At 9/14/2007 10:41 PM, Blogger Nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Baaaahahhahahhaha

For some reason I just invisioned you having an all-out brawl with Ann Landers...

 
At 9/15/2007 3:50 AM, Blogger Amanda's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Did she say the gay friends were boys? Because if I perhaps had some photographic evidence, it's possible I could become obsessed with them, too.

Her next question...

"Dear Scottie,

Why won't Miss Manda leave me and my Pillows Of Joy alone?"

 
At 9/17/2007 12:20 AM, Blogger Nate's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

More manlove Scott! I need to fill this week's quota!

;D

 

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