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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Tea Party

...Slight Clarification

When I recommended a "tea party" at the confluence I should have been a bit more clear. Other people are also calling for locals to dump booze into the rivers, but after further consideration, I feel that there should be some clarification.

The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board profits from every bottle of booze sold in this state, so by wasting booze, we'd essentially be giving the state even more money.

What I suggest is that we only use booze that is either homemade or purchased in other states. So pack up your hybrid (don't want to give them more in gas taxes either), cross the border to WV or OH, and get some cheap, homeless-quality hooch, and dump it in!

**UPDATE** I find it utterly friggin' hysterical that, after I posted this, I had two hits on the blog from someone at the state. Uh oh! I'm in trouble now! What are they going to get me for? Acknowledging their stupidity? Or claiming to want to muck up the environment.

Actually, I think alcohol in the Ohio River would be a good thing; it might make the crazy fish happier, and eventually it would get to our drinking water via Neville Island and maybe actually clean out the pipes a bit. God knows I won't drink that shit unless it's been filtered!

In all seriousness, PA is pretty ass-backwards about a lot of things. They really need to get with the times, before the rest of us young'uns move to more friendly states.

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At 12/06/2007 12:42 PM, Blogger naechstehaltestelle's whiny, bitch-ass comment is...

Mmm...homemade booze. Reminds me of beer that tastes slightly of soap.


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